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alice

16 year olds - we are doomed

For those who want to give voting rights to 16 year olds!

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon , Wiltshire ( U.K. )

These are claimed to be genuine answers (from 16 year olds).  If true we are doomed!

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe  to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them  perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All  water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on  the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the  fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get  intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery  ..........  (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow   ...............

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow                               (Simple, but  brilliant)

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (eg the  abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax  and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O and U (???)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium ...........(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor  ...................(Julius  Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport


Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic  feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Spenny

some of them are 1st class      
Andrew

My youngest turns sixteen on Monday - it is good to know that they change a lot between 16 and 18, otherwise you'd give up.
bulldog_68

Oh I did enjoy that
alice

Andrew our son turns 17 on Monday.  
orinocowomble

When I was sixteen my parents knew nothing!
By the time I was twenty it was amazing how much they had learnt!!!
Gizmouk

No Sandie WE aren't doomed - they are. By the time this generation is running things we'll be mercifully dead.
MISTER C

Gizmouk wrote:
No Sandie WE aren't doomed - they are. By the time this generation is running things we'll be mercifully dead.
    Sandie ??????         oh I get it   you are letting us know you were 16 once      
dean3324

LMAO the 'judicious' one reminds me of blue collar show were they constantly do things like that for words    
sandie seward

"Sandie"?????  what the hell have I got to do with it????    
MISTER C

sandie seward wrote:
"Sandie"?????  what the hell have I got to do with it????    
  Ask Gizmouk ........he started it        

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